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trav/is

slightly enigmatic

Month

December 2016

Doubt

It’s always the doubt,
chewing me up and spitting me out;
whether it’s yours or whether it’s mine,
both of them equally dim my shine.

At times I feel that I’m inadequate,
and truth be told that’s not the half of it;
aloof too often and needlessly analytic,
in the end I’m likely my own worst critic.

I wish I could change the way that I am,
to not see life as some absurd sham;
only once in a while can I say that I do,
from the beauty in art or the kindness in you.

We’re rarely all that we’re expected to be,
as that’s what happens when the spirit is free;
and sometimes to darkness is where we are driven,
but that doesn’t mean we can’t be forgiven.

I’m There

I’m there when your spirits are high,
proud of all your shadows cast.
I’m there when you can only cry,
enshrouded by mistakes of past.

I’m there when you’re in the light,
employing the glory of the sun.
I’m there when you rest at night,
enjoying all the work you’ve done.

I’m there when you’re deep in thought,
facing the problems of your day.
I’m there after your battle’s fought,
praying that the peace can stay.

I’m there when you love your life,
pleading you never stop drawing breath.
I’m there at last with clock and knife,
leading you gently towards your death.

Martyr

The match is struck,
incense burning,
curse the luck
that has you yearning;
hoping,
dreaming,
coping,
scheming;
with your heart that won’t stop beating,
whose history are you repeating?

Say my name,
my mirror image,
of boundless fame,
from start to finish;
if not yet,
you’ll know in time,
of what you get
evoking mine.

Prayer

I have seen the most merciless side of Nature–
both of that you call Mother and human,
O little one,
can you fathom the darkness from which you’ve arisen?

You cannot,
nor can I explain it to you,
this living chaos which you’ve quelled;
but know that the terrors are immeasurable.

Yet here you are,
a shining force against the imperishable night,
spreading the light of truth;
I humbly accept your gratitude.

Rise now again,
my forgiveness and blessings be granted,
and prepare for the story that is yet to unfold,
that great unending tale…

Clover

In the cascading moonlight,
I stumbled upon a four-leaf clover,
so I thought it must be right,
that my bad luck should now be over–

Pray tell, how could it not be just
that this grief be crushed to dust?

Still, I found, despite this blessing,
by fate I’m bound to keep on guessing,
forever surrounded by fortune’s testing,
so in the ground the clover stayed resting.

how many nights

how many nights
have we spent star gazing?

praying for help

for answers,
for anything

how many nights
have we suffered in solitude?

longing for company

for embrace,
for warmth

how many nights
have we taken for granted?

wasting our time

broken,
defeated

too many nights

tired

of this world

the beauty is undeniable,
but so too is the cruelty

all of it ephemeral

for others, I stay the path,
dreading the winds of change

for a long time,
they’ve spared me

but soon enough I’ll be tested,
I’m afraid I will fail

amidst the distortion

my eyes struggle to remain open,
but music holds me fast

so for a while more I listen,
observe, and wait

and I write

Waiting

We’re all waiting,
some of us for promotion
and others ambition fading,
wounds wide open
but so gradually decaying,
decidedly chosen
by the game our fates are playing,
and naively hoping
that it might be ours in the making,
but for now just coping
with whatever it is we’re hating,
excessively soaking
in the mindset we’re creating,
and eventually broken
by the path in life we’re taking.

Natasha

Dripping magnificence,
she stood there watching,
cloaked in confidence
but bathing in starlight;
her depth without limit.
Such a dark beauty I beheld,
encasing a ferocity as calm as still water,
dormant until provoked to ruin.
Down her flowing hair and
shining black dress the rose petals fell;
her presence a cleansing fire,
every breathtaking moment
burning the doubt from my mind,
until suddenly she moved,
as if purpose incarnate,
each stunningly graceful action
sweeping over me like wild emotion.
Paralyzed, I felt the brilliance,
unable to speak,
as she sang to me,
her invincible spirit awakening
within mine a sleeping valor.

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